Why I write so Honestly
There is a level of honesty that I can achieve in writing that I cannot elsewhere. I can write about my deepest feelings and my most hidden insecurities in a way that those who know me personally would be surprised by. I think it is mainly for three reasons:
I am not a famous writer. What I write is read by no more than 20 people. This allows me to be more honest because, for all intents and purposes I am writing to myself and the few people who will read my work. If my writing became more popular, I may become more restrained, careful, and more withholding.
Reading takes effort on the part of the reader; someone who is reading my work has to make the conscious decision to think of my writing as worth their time and make an effort to engage with it. Therefore, I feel it as the bare minimum from my side to meet my readers halfway - to write about things that I think are worth writing about, and in sentences that I hope are both pleasant to read and painfully my own.
I just find myself more in writing. Writing is a solitary activity. None of these words that I write results in me seeing someone's eyes perk up or droop as I would see when I speak. Speaking in that sense is like a dance with partners while writing is more like Yoga, a struggle against yourself. This is not to say I don't write with an imaginary audience in mind but perhaps because I know, that when I write, the person at the front row is always me!