Can you describe a person?
Yesterday, I was talking with some friends. It was late in the night; with weariness mixed in, we became sentimental and started speaking about each other. It became quite clear to me that, put on the spot, I was limited in how I could describe the people around me. Only after a bit of thinking, I could articulate in myself some description of them that didn't seem one-dimensional. This realization gnawed at me; at first a little but more so as I write this.
Before meeting them, I was reading through Stephen Wolfram's essay about the recent death of his wife. It was a beautifully written piece. This is what I jotted down about it - "reminds me of Feynman's letter to his dead wife. Tragic but so so beautiful." One could read in Wolfram's writing how deeply he knew his wife, how deeply he loved her, and despite the tragedy, still, how incredibly joy-filled he is that he was able to spend their lives together on this planet for a brief but beautiful time. I encourage you to read them (Wolfram's and Feynman's) both; if for nothing else, to do away with the stereotype of the unfeeling scientist.
The coincidental sequencing of these events made me think about the broader question of knowing a person. How does one know another? Perhaps the first step is to concede that one may never fully know another person. They are their own complete universe. To fully conceive of their theirness in your mind, you would have to be that person - like the Borges' map paradox. But the next step must be built on that foundation of Sonder. I don't see any other way.
The more personal question at hand is this - Can I describe a person, like Wolfram did his wife? Could I have written a letter to someone I love as honestly and as passionately as Feynman did?
Probably not. At least not now.
I fear I am not courageous enough to be as honest with myself and others.
But I want to be. I think that is a good thing to be.